Let's Call it Hope EN
by unchained-love
Summary: /!\ Spoiler season 4 /!\ The story begins after the closing of the bunker, when the radioactive wave's arriving. What will Abby think when she'll wake up ? What will happen to the inhabitants of the bunker? Here's my vision of the 5 years to come. I'm a french written, and I traduce on my own my story, so if you see any errors, tell me!
1. Chapter 1

**The 100**

Fan Fiction

Spoiler : Season 4

 _The story begins after the closing of the bunker, when the radioactive wave's arriving. What will Abby think when she'll wake up ? What will happen to the inhabitants of the bunker?_

 _Here's my vision of the 5 years to come._

 _I'm a french written, and I traduce on my own my story, so if you see any errors, tell me!_

 **Chapter 1 :**

/ The Bunker \

~ Marcus Kane ~

I lay the body on the ground, and take a last look to the "outside". This woman is the last one who wasn't on Clarke's list. I feel awful. I just sentenced more than three hundred of my own people to death. Was there another solution? I will never know. Jaha shouts at me to come back inside of the bunker. But, I suddenly seriously think about staying here. On Clarke's list there are engineers, mechanics... And a doctor. The doctor. Who am I? On the Ark I floated people. A tear drops on my cheek. A doctor. I just saved her life. I just broke the promise I had made her. What will she think? When I ordered the grounder not to take her outside, I didn't even consider that she was the last doctor. I only thought about her, about us. Her name was written on Clarke's list. I only obeyed to the rules. Who am I? I hate me.

Suddenly, I feel someone grab my arm and pull me back. I don't have the force to fight it. I take one last look at the bodies lying on the ground, and the hatch closes over me. Slowly, I walk to the principal hall. A hundred of my people are safe.

I approach her, take her in my arms, and go to the quarters reserved for our people. I enter a room, and lay her on one of the two simple beds. At the bottom of the cabin there's a sofa, and a low table at the center. On the right, behind the bed, there's a large closet. The colors are bland, in the tones Grey-blue. No windows, obviously.

I take a sit next to her, and caress the back of her hand with my thumb. I cling to her as to my own life. Minutes pass, and she finally wakes up. She turns her head, and looks at me, deeply. Tears start to drop on her beautiful face.

\- I'm sorry Abby...

She doesn't answer, but she straightened up, pressing her back against the wall. She drops my hand, and put her legs against her chest.

\- Abby, listen to me. We used Clarke's list to choose. You were on it. I wasn't courageous enough to let you go, I could never sentence you to death...

She stares at me, profoundly, and I can feel how mad she is, how sad she is.

\- You already did it. On the Ark. You were about to push that button, but Jaha arrived right on time to save me. You would've killed me with no hesitation Marcus, she says coldly.

She's sobbing, shaking, but I wipe her tears with my thumb.

\- Abby, I'm no longer the one I was on the Ark. I hate the one I was. You made me better, you brought light in my life, you saved me.

She sighs, and nods.

\- Clarke? She asks.

\- She didn't come back... I still don't know where she's. I'm sorry.

She shakes more and more, clenches her fists.

\- You closed that bunker... While she was outside?

\- We didn't have the choice.

\- I hate you! I hate you Marcus Kane! She yells, throwing herself at me.

She hits my chest with all of her strength, weeping all the tears of her body. She shouts, desperate, punches me, as hard as she can, pouring out her anger on me. I don't move, I let her do. I could endure everything for her.

I finally catch her wrists, and, exhausted, she lets herself fall into my arms. I press her against me, while she cries as much as possible.

\- It's gonna be OK Abby, I'm here... We will figure this out, as always... I'm so sorry Ab.

I try to comfort her, without releasing her. I'm ready to everything for her. I would like to offer her the entire world, to do the impossible to get a smile from her. I finally fells asleep in my arms. I lay her, put a blanket on her shaking body, and leave the room.

I easily find Jaha, who announce me that they got a message from Raven and Bellamy. They're going to space, with Clarke, Murphy, Emori, Echo, Monty and Harper. But the contact was cut tight after that. Now, we only can hope that they made it, that they're alive.

Suddenly, the door of our quarters opens, and Octavia enters with her two guards and Indra. She looks at Jaha, impassive and cold.

\- Have you finished to install your people? She asks.

\- yes, answers the former chancellor. Every room are taken.

\- Great. I expect you all in the principal hall in an hour.

Then she gets out, without another word.

~ Octavia ~

I walk to the food store, on the fourth floor, with a member of every clan. I give them rationing instructions, and ask them to cook for the lunch.

I go back to my office, which overlooks the main hall. It's my home. Two guards monitor the entrance. Indra lives with her daughter, and two other Trikrus, in their quarters. I had the chance to talk to Bellamy, to say goodbye to him. I'm praying for him to come back safe. Without him, without Lincoln and Ilian, I feel so lonely...

The small room is composed with a large table, three chairs, a sofa, and two shelves. A door opens on another room. A large bed thrones in the middle of it. On the right side there are shelves, and another sofa. Another door leads to the bathroom, pretty much simple. The colors are in the tones grey-blue, just alike the major part of this bunker.

I take place behind my office, take a paper sheet and a pen, and I start planing for weeks to come.

An hour later, the main hall get filled with people. Every clans are here. They speak loud, they laugh, making a terrible noise. I ask for silence twice, with no answer. I take the foghorn on my belt, Lincoln's foghorn, and blow inside of it. Everybody suddenly stop talking, looking at me with attention. I take the decision to speak in Trigedashleng, and the traduce in English.

\- Great. I welcome every clan here, and I ask you solidarity and compassion to get over the futures events. The bunker is composed of six floors. The three floors at the bottom are your bedrooms, your home. I hope that you're installed. Do not hesitate to tell me if there's any problem of cohabitation. The fourth floor is dedicated to culture, recycling of water, and canteen. On the fifth one, there will be the school, the workshops of engineers and mechanics and the medical bay.

I stares at Dr. Griffin when I say these last words. She's behind everyone, hidden, leaning against the wall, blank look. She lives with Clarke what I live with Bellamy. The fear to never get them back.

\- Well. This floor is consecrated to hobbies, sports, cultural exchange between the clans. Breakfast is between 07:00am and 10:00am, lunch between midday and 02:00pm, and dinner between 07:00ppm and 10:00pm. Clocks are almost everywhere in the bunker. Please, respect these schedules.

I take a deep breath and keep going on.

\- Nobody can stay inactive, so you'll pass test to determinate your job for the years to come, except if you already know what you wanna do. Here, war won't be tolerate. There's no place for violence. We've to cohabit to survive. So, I ask you, please, everyone, to do an effort. So, the test will take place here, after lunch. Thank you.

Deaf applause resound in the room, gradually transforming into acclamations. I'm relieved. I nod to my people and go back inside of my office. Then, I notice that my organization looks a lot like on the Ark, or Mount Weather... I hate me for that. How could I get there? I have the advantage of peace for my people, with no floated people, or awful stuff alike Mount Weather. I pray for everything to be OK, for these five years to be good to everybody.

I walk to the canteen. Every clans are eating, more or less happily. I'm so hungry... But I can't allow myself to lose a minute. I easily find a representative of every Sky people job, and Gaïa. I please them to eat as fast as possible, and to meet me in the main hall.

However, Abby's missing. She's not eating, and I need to find her. She's our only doctor. The best one. And I know that many healers would probably want to meet her, to work with her. I walk to Skaikru's quarters, and open every doors until I find hers. She's crouched on the floor, crying. At the moment she sees me, she hastens to get up and dries her tears.

\- Octavia, hello. How are you? She asks with a soft but shaking voice.

Doctor Griffin has always be nice to me. When I was isolated, after my mother got floated, she came to heal me, vaccinated me, and she provided my medical follow-up. These stuff hadn't been done since my birth. I feel connected to her. We both care about someone on the outside.

\- Great, thank you. I need you in the main hall for the repartition. Did you eat something?

\- I'm coming right now, she answers, ignoring my last question.

I nod to her, and go back to the hall. In the five following minutes, I'm surrounded by each representative of every job. There's only one grounder, Gaïa, and I already know that people will reproach it to me. But I didn't live long enough with grounders to know their jobs and hobbies.

\- I thank you all coming so fast. In the following hours, you'll have to choose who will work with you for the next five years. You're the best in your fields, so I can only trust you. Doctor Griffin, you'll be in charge of the MedBay, obviously. Mr. Jones, you'll manage agriculture and water recycling. Mrs. Smith, you'll be the director of the school, Mr. Watson, you'll supervise the engineers. Gaïa, I let you take care of religion, Mrs. Lopez, you'll work in the kitchen and...

Suddenly, I notice that I can't say Raven. Raven's not here. She's with my brother, in space... 

\- Well... So... Mr. Watson, you'll handle mechanics too.

Then the room get filled with every clan. I present them the jobs, necessary to our survival and cohabitation. I please them to join the representatives in their sections, according to what they prefer. The representatives will decide if they can join or not the job.

My people scatter then, but something like fifty persons come to me. They don't find themselves in any jobs. After a little talk with them, I understand that they're mostly artisans. I let them take a room on the fourth floor, giving them the only instruction to "do what they're the best at". Their jobs will probably make our underground existence a little more pleasant. Ten of them are specialized in sewing, or tapestry, others know how to create perfumes, dyes, or paints.

Finally alone, I decide to take a little break. Being a leader is exhausting. I don't know if I was born to be a commander. They're 1 200 people in this bunker. How can I keep peace for five years? I don't feel able to do that...

Someone knocks at my door. My guards open, letting enter Indra and Marcus Kane.

\- Congratulations Octavia, says Kane. You succeeded alone and in a record time to organize this bunker.

I shrug my shoulders.

\- What do you want Kane?

\- Well, I'm not able to do any of these jobs. I don't know where to go, so I was wondering, maybe that you may need a little help here?

I take a second. First, I want to put him out and tell him to fend himself. But I'm exhausted.

\- Well, you could be useful. You'll check the food store, and keep peace inside this bunker. I allow you to take your guards back, but not only Skaikru please.

I've to trust him now. He thanks me and leaves. Indra takes me in her arms and congratulates me. I can't contain the tears in my eyes. She comforts me, and promises me to help me every time I'll need to, to unify people in peace.

Afternoon passes fast. I check the tests, the repartition of jobs, that everything's OK. I don't even have a minute to rest. Indra forces me to eat at dinner. Without her I would forget to. Corridors start to be quiet, empty, and the first day end in the bunker.

I walk to my office when suddenly, a howling sounded throughout the bunker...


	2. Chapter 2

~ Marcus Kane ~

I wander in the corridors, when suddenly a shout resonates. A heart-rending howl, desperate. I run to the sound, I already know from where it comes. The door is closed, locked. I knock, no answer. I stick my ear to the wall, and hear Abby's weeping. I knock again, in vain.

\- Abby! What's happening. Answer, please... Open this door! I beg you!

\- Go away Marcus! I don't want to see you! It's all your fault.

I let myself fall, back against the wall, listening her tortured groans on the other side. Some curious get close to me, wondering what's happening here. I expel them away with no explanation. Do I have one? Why Abby is screaming? For Clarke? If only I could know...

\- Abby, let me enter, please...

\- No way!

I know she needs help, and I would want to be there for her, to save her, I'd want to get the stars and offer her, I'd want to reach the sun and bring its light back... Where's my Abby? Where're her smiles? Where's her laugh?

All of a sudden, I can't hear anything. Silence reigns in the corridors, and in her room.

\- Abby?

No answer. I knock on her door, still nothing. What's happening? I feel a long shiver running through my body. I knock as strong as possible, I try to open it, in vain. That's when Octavia pushes me away, and takes her magnetic card. She passes it in front of the handle, and I can hear the door opening. I pull it, and enter in. Abby's laying on the ground, a white liquid flows out her mouth. Frightened, I shake her, I take her head in my hands, I shout her name. I can't lose her, not now. Not ever.

Octavia catches my shoulder, and pull me away. Two men lay down her body on a stretcher, and take her away. I grab her hand, and hold it up to the MedBay.

\- What's happening to her?

The two men don't answer. They just say she needs to rest.

\- Same as Raven, says Octavia in my back, coldly. We burned out her chip. She has lesions now. Raven told us the protocol to follow to get rid of it. But I can order it without her agreement. She'll wake up, don't worry. Raven explained me everything before she went to space.

I would want Octavia to order it, but I can not insist. She asks Abby's consent, or the one of a family member. I'm none of them. I'm nothing. The room is now empty. I don't drop her hand, and I'll stay here all the night if I have to.

I feel something in my hair. I hardly open my eyes, dazzled by the light. My head's on Abby's belly. She's caressing my head, slowly.

\- Marcus, I'm so sorry, she murmurs.

I cross her gaze. Her beautiful gaze, sadly full of pain.

\- You don't have to be... I'm here Abby, it's gonna be okay.

\- They contacted us... I talked to Raven. Clarke... Clarke is not with them. She stayed on Earth... Marcus... Outside... She saved them... And now... She's not here any more... There are no other bunker outside... She... Raven said that Nightblood might have worked. But... Marcus, it's impossible!

She's weeping all the tears of her body, and I only can hold her hand.

\- I've lost my baby... Marcus I've lost her! I've lost her! I saw it in my vision! And I didn't protect her... My sweet baby... My little Clarke... How...

I tight her, powerless.

\- I see her face everywhere... When I close my eyes she's here, burned... Why did I let her go? Why?!

\- Clarke probably found a solution, she always does. Don't lose hope Ab'... It's not your fault. Trust me.

\- Don't lose hope? I'm stuck here for five years! And she's probably dead now! I'm stuck here and I can't do anything. I can't save her, I'm all alone...

\- Don't say that! I'm here, I'm here for you, and I'll always be by your side.

She kisses me tenderly, why this so much despair and pain.

\- Honey, Raven knows how to save you. You see Clarke because of the injuries in your brain. But it's gonna be okay, they're going to save you.

She sighs.

\- No. Marcus, I don't even deserve to live, not like that, she says coldly. You should go eating.

She insists. I understand, she needs time. I go to the canteen, take a tray, sit, but I'm lost in my thoughts. I can only think about her. My sunshine. My reason to live. Who am I without her?

I can save her, I can help. I won't let her give up. I can't lose her, I need her. Everybody here need her. I can't let her believe that it's the end, I can not let her accept to go away, to die. I get up, and run to MedBay.

I push the doors, she's not there. I turn to one of the men, I don't know him. A grounder.

\- Where did she go?

\- She said she had stuff to do. Medical files to sort I guess.

I rush to her room, enter in. She's right here, on her bed, blank look on her face. I slow down, take a deep breath, and get close to her. She stares at the ceiling, impassible. I take her hand in mine, she removes it immediately.

\- Leave me alone Marcus.

\- Never.

She sighs.

\- You were right. It's not my fault, not only. If you had been inside of the bunker, I won't open it. Clarke won't be gone. If I had not fallen in love with you I would not have opened this hatch. Clarke won't be gone. If I had had the choice between you and her... Clark would be here. I would've chose her, she says coldly.

I feel terrible. I feel like I was stabbed. I feel like falling into an endless hole. She would've chose her, obviously. How could I think something else? I'm selfish. A fool. She already told me that. I try to breath. I know what she is doing. I would have done the same. She wants to push me away. She want me to hate her. She wants me to go away, but I will never leave.

\- You don't have the choice. Fight Abby.

\- For what? For who? She whispers.

I'm hurt, of course. Her words tear me from the inside. But I know, she doesn't think it. Not really.

\- For me. For those who will need a doctor in the next five years, and after. For the hope. Fight Abby! You taught me how to see the hope in front of me. You lightened my world! You can not give up! Not. Like. That. You're a fighter, I know that.

She sighs, again, and looks at me.

\- I'll fight for you Abby. I will fight for and against you if I have to. I'll keep you alive, and I'll prove you that life worth it. On the Ark, when Clarke's wristband stopped emitting, you refused to believe in her death! You fought! So fight again! You can not give up, it's not an option.

\- What if I do? You won't be able to save me every time Marcus.

\- I will not let you do that. I will save you. I will pass every second of my life by your side to remember you that the fight worth it. I will stay awake every night to make sure that you're breathing. I will bring light back in your eyes. Just like you did to me. I will fight for you. In TonDC, in the rubble, you saved me, you didn't give up. Despite all the hate you felt about me, despite all I did, you never stopped fighting to save me. I will do the same. Even if you have to hate me again, I will fight. For you.

A tear rolls on her cheek. And an other. Her lips are shivering, and, slowly, her hand approaches my face. She caresses it gently.

\- I love you Abigail Griffin, and I will fight until my last breath to keep you alive.

She kisses me, painfully. Her hands get lost in my hair. I catch her hips, and lean over her. My hands slip on her body, pulling up her shirt till take it off. Then my fingers touch the soft skin of her cambered back. She does not waist time and does the same on me. I can now feel her heart beating against my chest, her hands on my body, caressing my back, holding me, her lips so soft kissing me like the first time, her breath on my face...

\- I love you Marcus Kane... I love you I am so sorry...

~ Octavia ~

I try hardly to keep peace inside of this bunker, to unify the clan, but there's nothing left to do. They just don't want to mix. Do they respect me? I would really want to succeed at something, but I'm powerless against 1 200 people. I want to prove them that I'm able to do that. Then I understand how hard it is to lead, how hard it was on the Ark, and why the laws and necessary. I will never forgive them for taking my mother away, for killing her. Never. But I don't have any other choice than accept, in a certain way, that some things are really necessary. I just don't want any violence.

I organize a council, like on the Ark, with a representative of every clan, like a commandant would've do. Like Lexa would've do. I didn't know her very well, but I admired her. She showed an unmatched strength.

Suddenly, the door opens. Indra enters.

\- We've to talk.

She sits in front of me.

\- What's happening Indra?

\- You don't feel good Octavia. You almost don't eat, you barely talk, and since yesterday you spend the major part of you time alone. Talk to me.

I sigh, put my pen down, and stare at her. Indra always knows when something is wrong. I see in her the mother I didn't have for years. She's always ere for me, by my side.

\- Some grounders are struggling to adapt to underground life. And I feel a certain hostility between the clans. I don't know how to unify them, there's nothing I can do.

She raises an eyebrow, and stares at me for a while.

\- You can only let them time Octavia. Do not force them, and do not obligate them to adapt too fast. Just be here for them. That's all they're expecting from you. But this is not the real problem. You already know all of that. Don't lie to me.

\- I'm afraid. I don't know how to handle it five years in this bunker without become crazy! And i'm alone... Bellamy's gone, I don't belong to any clan. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, and how to. I will never succeed at this...

A tear falls on the desk. I can't allow myself to be weak.

\- You're far away from loneliness. And you don't have to belong to any clan. You unified them, even if right now you can't see it. No war is coming, I can promise it to you. If I understood, the radio contact with sky is back? You can talk with Bellamy whenever you want to now!

She stands up, and takes me in her arms. I'm in tears. I let all the stress, all the anger, the fear and sadness escape.

\- You're a leader Octavia, you'll get it. Your brother will be proud of you. And your clan will admire you, just like they did with Lexa. I'm here, do not forget that, she murmurs at my ear.

Night's coming. I would've want to look at the moon. I can't. I get a lap, asking to my guards to leave me alone for once. I need to think.

I wander in the corridors, when suddenly, in a turn, I hit someone. I fall on the ground, and get up instantly, fight position. He's right in front of me, hands in front of his face, to protect himself. He's tall, half-long brown hair, clear skin, musculare.

\- Heda, I'm sorry, he says in his native language.

I shrug my shoulders.

\- Who're you?

\- Ryen, from Trishana.

\- It's late, aren't you supposed to sleep?

\- I'm supposed to, yes, but I'm not.

I smile a little.

\- Try not to delay, days here are long and hard.

I these last words I leave him. I can't help but turn around to watch him go.


	3. Chapter 3

~ Abigail Griffin ~

I wake up next to the man I love, second time since Jake. Who would've believe it? Marcus Kane and I. He sleeps peacefully, his arm on my belly, his body against mine. He's here, despite all I did. I tried to reject him, in vain. I tried to deny what I feel for him, but I just can't. He became my everything. One day, I even surprise myself wondering why I married Jake instead of him. This kind of thoughts makes me feel terrible. Kane pushed the button that killed my ex husband. Kane almost floated me too. Then Marcus saved me after the Exodus. And Marcus came to Earth with me, holding my hand throughout the trip. And Kane sentence me to ten shots of electric baton. Then Kane is dead, there's only Marcus, my Marcus. The one who accompanies me in the most difficult tests on Earth. The Marcus who reasons and comforts me. The Marcus I love more than anything in this world. He proved many times that he would do everything for me. And I feel unable to return the favour.

He slowly opens his eyes, and I can not help but smile. He caresses my cheek, kisses me tenderly, a long moment, just like if he just found me back. Yesterday again he saved me.

\- How beautiful you're when you're smiling, he murmurs.

I stand up, naked, and walk to the wardrobe. Marcus already tidied all of our stuff. I feel his look on my back, his eyes devouring me... I love him so much...

\- Marcus, you should wake up, or we're gonna be late for the breakfast.

Indeed, it's already 09:30am. I take my clothes, and go to the bathroom. I slip in the shower, when the door opens. Marcus enters. We're the two of us inside of the small cabin, glued to each other. , with the hot water flowing on our naked bodies. He kisses me again, his hands on my hips, while my fingers get lost in his wet hair. He puts me against the wall, I shiver.

\- Marcus... I'm already late for working!

\- A few minutes more won't change anything, he murmurs. And nobody will reproach it to you, you're Abigail Griffin.

I smile. Marcus is the only one who can keep me here in this conditions. He completely controls my stubbornness. He sticks to me, caressing my belly with his fingers, my breasts, taking my face in his hands. He owns me. I shiver every time he touches me, and I have no other choice but cling to him, to his hair, to his shoulders, his arms not to fall. He enters me, I groan.

\- Marcus...

He parses my neck with kisses. I bite my lip to keep me from screaming. The heat of our bodies creates mist everywhere, on the tile, on the glass door of the shower, and my back slides against the wall. I can't stand on my legs, I feel wobbly. He catches my thighs at the last moment, and keep me from falling. I wrap my legs around his hips. He saves me, as always. I'm crazy about him.

Our passion reach its climax, he sticks his mouth on mine, stifling a scream. He steps back, and kisses me one last time. 

\- Marcus Kane you're a terrible influence.

He laughs.

\- Do not blame me... Your body is there for many in this situation!

He catches the soap and runs my skin with it. Slowly he washes me, and rinses the foam. I do the same on him, kissing him on the neck.

Once clean I pushes him and get out.

\- Already? He asks with a little voice.

\- I do think that we're already too late to eat, so I'm going to work. It's not holidays Marcus!

He makes a little annoyed pout and finally gets out. I look everywhere for my towel but can't find it. I turns to him, and, obviously, he has it in his hands.

\- Is that what you're looking for? Come catch it! He says like a child.

I can not refuse him anything. I run to him, and kiss him. Surprised, He lowers his guard. I suddenly take the towel, laughing.

\- That was mean.

\- Yes, it was, I answer.

I dry, dress, and get out. He joins me in the corridors, and accompanies me to MedBay. My belly makes a little noise, very elegant. Marcus starts laughing.

\- It's your fault!

He raises his eyebrows.

\- No way! If you weren't that pretty you won't be late!

He kisses me and gets out.

\- You're late doctor Griffin.

I turns and see Octavia, sitting on one of the beds, crossed arms. I apologize and walk to her.

\- May I please know the reason for your delay?

I'm bushing, and get rid of the question.

\- Commander, what can I do for you?

She sighs, smiling a little.

\- Please, don't call me like that Dr. I'm still the Octavia from cell 12.

\- No, you've changed a lot since. You became a strong woman Octavia. And please, call me Abby, how many time will I have to tell you? Why are you here?

She nods.

\- I... Well... I can't sleep.

I sigh. I live exactly the same as her. Well, yesterday night I was pretty busy... But when he's not here...

\- Nightmares?

\- Yes.

\- Hard to fall asleep?

\- Yes. But no need to talk about it, just give me stamps, problem solved.

\- We don't have any sleeping pill. Only aesthetics for surgeries. I can prescribe sedatives. One stamp after diner.

\- Thank you.

I write her her prescription, and give her a little box of pills. Then she leaves. I worry about her, she tries to hide it but she's in pain.

Few minutes later, healers come to see me. We talk about the way we heal people, I learn a lot about medicinal plants, and I explain them how tech works.

Sitting at my desk, I check the med stock, tidy it, when suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn and see Marcus. He gives me an apple, with a little smile.

\- I've a full access everywhere, let's use it, he says showing me his magnetic card.

I laugh and kiss him. 

\- Never do that again Marcus Kane. Or you'll have to deal with me, and trust me you don't want to.

\- These apples were on breakfast, I checked. So it's just alike if you ate it on the morning.

I cast a reproving glance at him, but bite in fruit, starving. I get back to work, eating. He sits in front of me, and look at me.

\- You're disrupting my work!

\- But... I'm not even speaking, not even moving! He justifies.

I stare at him.

\- Well, I know, I'm of an excessive beauty, and you just can't help but look at me, so you can't work. More, I smell terribly good because of this morning, and I release an aura of sensuality that draws you inexorably, he says very seriously.

I burst out laughing, this man is unbearable.

\- Marcus Kane you've got an oversized ego!

He kisses my forehead, and finally leaves the room so I can get back to work. Of course, He's not completely wrong. Not at all.

I join him at lunch, right on time. We talk about our morning, and I tell him about Octavia. He can't do anything more, but promises me to keep an eye on her. Et accompanies me back to MedBay, leans to kiss me but stops at the last minute.

\- You've got yoghurt on the corner of your lips.

He wipes it with his thumb and puts it in his mouth. I sigh, stare at him, and he finally kisses me, with passion. In our burst of love he puts me against the wall, and I cling to him. I can feel his hand under my shirt, caressing my belly.

Suddenly, the door opens. I pushes him away.

\- Dr. Griffin, Mr. Kane, says Indra.

I walk to her, she let two grounders come in. One has the eye well pocketed, and the other has broken nose. I sigh and please them to sit.

\- What happened? Asks Marcus.

\- They fought. I don't know why. Fortunately, your guards were there.

Marcus nods and leaves, after kissing me one last time. I thank Indra who quit too? I walk to the grounders, and take care of the broken nose before heal the eye of the other. I please them to keep calm and rest. However, they start argue once again, in their native language. I don't understand anything, except one word sometimes. I try to stop them, in vain. Alarmed by the shouts, guards enter and take them away. They're probably going to ask Octavia how to punish them. I thank them and take a minute. MedBay is empty, for now. I already now that soon people will come with a lake of vitamin D, possibly viruses, and births. I'm ready.

Suddenly, a voice resounds in my back.

\- How dare? After what you did to dad?

I turn. Clarke's standing in the middle of the room. She looks at me with so me hate. My head's hurting me.

\- You killed him! And now you're having sex with Kane? How can you only live? You don't deserve all of that. I hate you... You abandoned me on Earth, you sentenced me to death when you sent me here, and now, where am I? I suffered the radioactive wave outside.

Here face's going red, she's burning.

\- Clarke! No!

I run to her, I stumble and fall.

\- It's all your fault! She yells.

I cry, begging her to stop.

\- Did you think about me today? No! Too busy with your little Marcus! Isn't it?

I shout, in pain. I feel that my head will explode. I try to fight it, but she seems so real. I succeed to lay on my side before I faint.

~ Octavia ~

I have the little bow in my hand. I walk to my quarters. One after diner. I sit at my desk, and put my head in my hands. I miss Bellamy, I miss Lincoln, Ilian too, even Clarke and Raven. I feel snapped up by darkness, powerless against sadness. Gnawed by guilt. Now, my people respects me. But they're also frightened by me. After all, I'm the one who won the last conclave. I'm the one who killed for King Roan. They respect me, but they don't want to get close to me, or talk to me like to to anyone else. I'm their leader, but not their friend. If only I could speak with Lexa, just to know how she handled that feeling... Lexa had Clarke, for a while. But between Costia and Clarke? How did she do alone?

Panicked, I swallow a pill. I wait a little, but don't feel any effect. I should go take my breakfast. I sigh, exhausted. How can I spend five years here? I wake up and walk to the canteen. People lower their head when I arrive, as a salute. Nobody cross my gaze. Abby's eating with Marcus. I'm happy for them, I guess. Indra is in the middle of her people, telling a story of one of her wars. I take a tray, cutlery, and a plate. Then I sit, alone, at a table. Everybody else is busy to speak with friends, or family. I have none.

I start eating when suddenly, someone sit in front of me. Surprised, I look up. Ryen's here. I says hello and start to ingest his food without a word. I continue my meal, and, when he arrives to his dessert, he starts speaking in his natal language.

\- What pushed you to reject your people, the Skaikru?

I take a second, surprised.

\- Well... I didn't fit with them, I'm different I guess. I belong to no clan, that's all.

Noticing my dry tone I apologize. He smiles, and speaks a little about him. He started his training at five, he never knew his parents, who died when he was a baby. His grandma raised him. We keep speaking about everything and anything until the room's completely empty. Then I apologize and leave.

\- You know, he says, you should try to sit with your people. It won't be easy, but you're a good person, they'll understand that. You look like Lexa on many points.

I thank him and get out. I surprise myself smiling, a little.

A little later, in the corridors, someone calls me. The radio contact has been fixed, and improved. Now, I can contact Bellamy whenever I want to. Before, it has to be him. But he didn't. Why? I don't know. He must be very busy up-there. I walk to my office, hopeful. I almost run. Mech men leave me alone after explain me how the radio works. I put the headphone on my ears, connect the microphone, and push the green button.

\- Here's Octovia Blake, asking for the Ark, can you hear me?

I wait a little, and do it again.

\- Here's Octovia Blake, asking for the Ark, can you hear me?

I try a third time, and once again, but nobody answers. I start to panic. What if the oxygen system failed? Or if there's a leak on the Ark? My breath accelerates, I'm incapable to hold the tears in my eyes. I push the little button to let the message in a loop. It will stop only when they'll answer. I ask my guards to look after it, and to warn me if something changes.

I then find Marcus Kane, two soldiers, and two grounders. The last ones fought in the corridors, and again in MedBay. I sentence them to clean every corridor, and I ask to four guards to watch over them. I don't like to do that, sentence people. An idea comes to me. Good idea. The kind of idea that will help me get a little time for me, and to test the confidence of some people.

\- Kane. Next times, you'll manage the punishments for this kind of problems. I don't have the time. But, let's be OK. No violence will be tolerate from you. No blows of electric baton, and here, nobody can be floated. You're in charge of the good respect of the law, completely. Don't ask me advices if it's not a huge problem. I guess that I have to trust you. I don't really have another choice, I don't know the grounders enough. And, now, you've got Abby. It would be bad for you to disappoint her by choosing violence, isn't it?

He nods, thanks me, and leaves the room. And suddenly, a terrible yell rings throughout the bunker.


	4. Chapter 4

~ Abigail Griffin ~

I'm shaking. I'm laying on the ground, in the dirt. I'm unclean. I'm cold. Someone's yelling far away. I wake up difficultly. Everything's blurred, and the wold seems colorless. I lean on a tree and try to walk. Once again, a shout. I'm alone. I walk in the forest, without knowing where I'm going. The yell, again. It seems closer. I run. And suddenly, I fall down. I collapse on the ground. My leg hurts me. I put my hand on my bloody thigh. There's a hole here. In my leg. A drill hole. Mount Weather's drill hole. I shout in pain. I can't contain the tears in my eyes. I turn to the yells, crawling I get get closer. I shake my teeth, trying to forget the pain. I arrive at the top of the hill, and I see them.

Clarke. She's crying. Her face's burning.

Marcus. Hanging on a cross. Blood's running out of his wrists.

A rope is suspended at a branch. Waiting to hang someone.

A grounder. His body's totally burned. He's standing in front of a glass box.

Behind, a hundred teenagers are looking at me with an unmatched hatred.

I abandoned Clarke out-there.

I used Marcus and I made him suffer under the chip.

I hanged myself to force Clarke to take the chip.

I tested nightblood on an innocent to try to save us all, I killed him.

I sent a hundred children on a planet I knew nothing about. I sentenced them to death.

Suddenly, I open my eyes. A bright white light blind me. It's hot. I am sweating. Marcus is holding my hand. I can hear Olivia speaking, but I can't understand what she says. Marcus' lips are moving, but I can't hear a sound. I'm laying on a bed in MedBay. I can't breath...

And the total black.

Again, I can hear Clarke yelling...

The oxygen seems to enter at once in my lungs.

\- I'm right here Abby... Calm down...

Marcus is here. He is here. He caresses slowly my hair. I resume my spirits.

\- You're having a crisis Ab', because of the chip... I beg you, please, we have the solution... Don't let yourself dying...

I can't answer him. As soon as I close my eyes I see all of their faces.

\- Abby, in your sleep you were shouting, you were struggling. I can't let you suffering like that...

I take a deep breath.

\- I killed them... All of them...

\- Hey, Ab', look at me. We've all committed crimes. We've all killed. I'm here, I'm going to help you. You'll get through this. Earth changes us, you know that.

I nod.

\- I beg you Abby, tell me that I'm a sufficient reason to live, he murmurs.

I look deep inside his eyes. He's so worried. He loves me... He's still here.

\- Yes... You're a sufficient reason to everything Marcus. I love you...

He kisses me, delighted. I turn to Octavia.

\- I give you my agreement. I want to get rid of these visions.

\- Try to sleep a little, your body will be faced with unusual conditions, orders Octavia.

They all leave the room, and Marcus stands up.

\- No! Stay... Please. Marcus, don't leave me alone.

\- Hey, I'm right here, I'm going nowhere. Just bring you a glass of water.

He blinds the act to the word, and bring it to me.

\- Thank you Abby for choosing to live.

I put the glass down and kiss him. He's here, he's real. He gives me hope, just like he did when we were kids... I knew Marcus very well. And the we grew up, we became different, and even with a common goal, our ways to do were the exact opposites. I soon fall asleep in his arms, peacefully. He takes the nightmares away, he hunts the monsters, and destroys my demons.

I wake up a few hours later, in the same position.

\- Everything's ready Dr. Griffin, announce Tom, one of my men in Meds.

\- Perfect!

I stand up, maybe a little too fast. My head's still hurting me.

\- Abby, are YOU ready? Asks Marcus.

I turn my head to him, and focus a little.

\- For you I'm always ready. To everything. I owe you my own life.

He helps me to walk and carries me to a room I've never seen before. There's a huge basin filled with cold water. There are many medical devices, and healers, and nurses. I check everything under their attentive look. Then, I take a deep breath, take of my shirt, my shoes, and my pants. I attach my hair and turn to them. Marcus gets close to me and kisses me.

\- I hate to see you that naked in front of them, he murmurs at my ear.

\- You jealous man! But you know, between see and touch pretty things, there's a huge difference. You've got a complete access to every part of my body... You'll enjoy it when I will be back.

He kisses me one last time and stand back. Tom attach to electrodes to my chest, but his hands are shaking. I take them from him, and carry this on my own. I know exactly how and where to place them. A regular "bip" sounds in the room. I enter in the basin. The cold water's freezing my blood. I put the oxygen mask on my mouth, and take a deep breath, again. I let myself drown in the basin. The interminable seconds flow slowly. I can hear the "bip" accelerate. I turn my head. Marcus is here, against the pane. I put my hand against his. And my vision get blurred. I can't keep my eyes open. I can't fight...

Total black.

~ Marcus Kane ~

The account is launched. Fifteen minutes. I can't take my eyes off of her. Her heart's not beating. She could never wake up. No. That's not an option. Abby will fight. Minutes seems interminable. I sit against the pane, and wait. What else can I do? I close my eyes, and remember every moment with her. Every fight, every kiss, I can hear her laugh, I can see her smiles. I can't loose her. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. She freed me from power, she helped me discover the one I really am. She made me the man I am, a good man.

Ten minutes.

I almost lost her so many times. When she was under the chip I thought that I could never see her again. Her eyes were empty of every emotion. When Jaha pointed this gun on her head...

Five minutes.

As a kid I loved her. I knew she was the woman of my life when she felt down in front of me, in a corridor of MedBay on the Ark. She ran to arrive on time at her home. She spent too many hours hidden this afternoon, spying doctors, taking notes of every intervention. I helped her wake up. She was five, I was seven. She was so small... With her long brown undulates hair. Her gaze hypnotized me.

One minute. I focus on every happy moments.

Thirty seconds. She has to survive this.

Fifteen seconds. For Clarke.

Ten seconds. For her patients.

Five seconds. For me?

It's ringing. Suddenly, everything goes very fast. The shock is started. Abby opens her eyes at once, and get back to the surface. Doctors push me and get her out. They lay her body on a stretcher. She's fighting. Her heartbeats are not normal. They attach other electrodes on her, and send a defibrillator discharge. Doctors stands back, delighted. She's safe. Still asleep.

And suddenly her heart stops. Immediately, Tom, one of the doctors, starts a heart massage. I can't breath. I'm praying for them to save her. I feel useless, and powerless facing the situation. I can't save her. I can't do anything.

Second discharge.

He continues the heart massage. Please Abby, come back to me. Don't leave me alone. I need you.

Third discharge.

Her body lifts. Her eyes open. Her hart beats. She's breathing. I throw myself at her sides. I can't hold back the tears that flood my cheeks. She's smiling. To me. Her shaking fingers rest on my face.

\- Did you miss me? She murmurs.

\- I did, Cruelly.

She wipes my tears softly. I lean over her and kiss her lips tenderly.

\- I was so afraid Abby... I thought I will never see you again.

\- One day, a wise man told me that life worth the fight.

She kisses me again, her hands in my hair, caressing my face with her sweet fingers... I smile, happier than ever. My Abby is safe. She's not sick anymore. She won't have visions anymore, she won't be tortured by Clarke's face. I know that she terribly misses her daughter, and nothing will take the pain away. I intend to be at her sides and relieve her sorrow as much as possible. And then, there's hope. Clarke is just alike her mother, too stubborn to die this way. Like her father too... She's a fighter, she always defends what she believes in. Abby does that too. I appreciated Jake. I only obeyed the orders. Abby blamed me for his death, probably because I'm the one who pushed that red button. Jaha ordered this. Jaha took the decision to sentence his friend to death. What would have had happened if I have had sayed no? Would I have had been floated too? Maybe that Jake would have had been still alive. I'm jealous at this last idea. I have always loved Abby. And I left her blame me. I left her hit me as much as she could after Jake's death. I left her hate me. We were friends before Jake. We were even more, when we were children. Even after.

\- Marcus?

The beautiful woman pulls me out of my thoughts.

\- Marcus? Are you alright?

She embrace me tenderly, her head buried in my neck.

\- Yes, don't worry honey, I was thinking about us.

I can feel her smile against my skin. She sticks to me as much as possible, as if she wanted to protect herself. She drops kisses in my neck.

\- Take me home Marcus, she begs me exhausted.

I glance at the room. We are alone here since she woke up. Once again she makes me break the law. She's supposed to stay here. I smile at this idea, and put a hand under her knees, and the other in her back. I lift her up, and press her against me. She surrounds my neck with her arms, her head buried in my too long hair. We leave MedBay, and I walk to our room. Room that she called home. She falls asleep on the way, nestled against me. I barely open the door, but succeed. I drop her on her bed, covering her body with blankets. I can't help but put back the locks of hair on her pretty face. After a few minutes sitting at her feet, looking at her, I decide to go. I have work, a lot of. I open the door when she grab my wrist.

\- Marcus... Stay with me... Don't leave me alone...

Her eyes are closed, but she holds me firmly. I can't resist to her. I can not refuse her anything. I close the door and lay on her sides. This bed is too small for two persons. I drop a kiss on her forehead and press her against me. Nestled against my chest, I can feel her heartbeats, and her slow breath on my skin. I caress her hair that I love so much. I've never know silkier hair. I've never know other hair, by the way. Abby was the first, the one, the last. I love her so much that I came to hate her. There are some memories that I would love to forget. Every time I've hurt her, every bad things I've done. All this pain... But they're all here, in my head, remembering me how wonderful this woman is. She forgave everything. She saw in me what I thought was off forever.

I love to look at her while she's sleeping. She seems so peaceful, laying like that. Her hair drive me crazy. Her lips too... And her body... I don't think that there's a word powerful enough to describe her, to talk about her strength, her beauty, her intelligence. She deserves so much better than me. Why me? I will probably never understand. I will content to know that she loves me, and I will love her until my last breath.

Exhausted by the recent events, I soon fall asleep. What is more peaceful than a night in the arms of the woman I love?

I wake up three hours later, in the same position. Ab' is still asleep. I don't want to awake her, but we only have thirty minutes to go diner. I walk alone to the canteen. At this hour it's almost empty. There's only a couple of grounders eating. I get close to the sideboard.

\- Hello Faïa, I say to the woman behind the bar.

She has a metal large ladle in her right hand, and she's starring at me. She was part of Trikru if I remember well.

\- Mr. Kane. What can I do for you?

\- Well... Abby... I mean, Dr Griffin just underwent a huge medical treatment, and it happens that at this very moment she's sleeping. I wanted to know if there were a chance that I bring her a plate in her room? Please?

I hate to beg people, or to speak with a pity tone. I really hate that. But I won't let Abby starving. The grounder serves a plate.

\- I guess that you're eating with her? She asks.

\- Hum... Yeah, yes... Thank you.

She gives me two plates, cutlery, and glasses. She nods so I go.

\- I'll give you that back! Thanks a lot.

She raises her shoulders and closes the bar. I walk fast to our room, and drop the plates on the little table. I fill glasses with water in the bathroom and bring it back to the living room. I sit next to Abby and gently shake her arm. She grunts, turns away, and almost hides under her pillow.

\- Ab'... Wake up...

I shake her a little more, put my hand in her neck, very sensible zone that always make her shiver. But nothing. I stare at the plates. She loves pork ribs. I grab one and get it as close as possible to her nose. It's still hot and it smells good.

\- Hum... Smell that Ab'... Smell this wonderful pork rib... Wake up love, or I'm going to eat them all.

I know that she's not completely asleep, just almost. She breaths a little stronger, many times, inspires, and she opens her eyes at once.

\- If you eat my pork rib I'm going to kill you!

She stands up as fast as possible, snatches the plate, and sits on the sofa. I can't contain a giggling. This woman acts like a child sometimes.

I take place in front of her and we start eating in silence. Everything's on the way we look at each other, in our gazes. She's really having fun. She doesn't hesitate to pass her tongue on her teeth, to nibble her lip, or to throw me terribly provocative looks. This woman has a total hold on me.

\- We've to do something for those beds! She exclaims suddenly. There's no way for me to sleep alone or with you in a simple little bed!


End file.
